This is:
by Kerry3
Summary: A post-ep for Double Agent: Different Views during and after the ep *Ch 3 now up*
1. This is: Dangerous

Title: This is:

Author: Kerry (NDKerry@optonline.net)

Rating: PG-13 (Just to be safe)

Spoilers: Seriously? Everything up through, including, and especially, Double Agent.

Category: Post-Ep, Romance (S/V), 1st person POV, Series of Vignettes.

Summary: Different thoughts from different sources during and after Double Agent.

Archive: That would be lovely, just please let me know where.

Feedback: Crave it like I want Michael Vartan.

Disclaimer: I wish I had looks like Sydney. I wish I had a guy like Vaughn. I wish I had a best friend like Weiss or pre-dead Francie. I don't have any of these. Nor do I have anything in the Alias world (unless you want my Alias: Declassified and Alias novels). JJ Abrams, Bad Robot, and a bunch of other people own all this stuff.

Author's Notes: This is a tiny series. Only 4 parts. Each one is a vignette-mini-post-ep. They could each stand alone, however, I felt that since they were all in response to one ep, that they'd work better as one story with different voices. So that's what this is. 

I would like to thank, of course, my dear friends Dani and Flip. Dani is the greatest for putting up with me as I talk about the sexiness of a certain handler, and Flip always lets me make my slightly deranged comments and puts up with my weirdness. Special thanks as always to my wonderful (and super-fast) beta Lisa. I love how Alias is bringing people together all over the web!

This is: Dangerous (Jack POV)

For a double agent, someone who's had to lie to nearly everyone for the past year and a half of her life, Sydney certainly is very trusting. I cannot believe how readily she accepts that the Lennox we have here is the real one, and that the Markovic Lennox is still somewhere out there. All because of a few carefully placed words about a dead fiancée. She won't even consider that this is all part of some greater plan: for Enzo Markovic to infiltrate the CIA. She just knows that she feels sorry for him, because he claims that he and Agent Wallace were engaged. Of course, anyone who wanted to research Sydney would find out that her fiancé was killed, and would know that that is the perfect way to gain her sympathy, and ultimately, her trust.

Lennox isn't the only one she's placing too much faith in, if you ask me. I'm not blind, and I'm not an idiot. I see the way she and Agent Vaughn have been looking at each other. There's always been a certain...dynamic between them, but recently it's intensified. Recently, as in since SD-6 was taken down. I know that she thinks that she's free to live her own life now, but she doesn't realize how much danger she is still in.

She doesn't realize that love is a weakness she cannot afford to have in this business. Oh, I'm sure that she thinks that she'll be quitting within the next few weeks, but until then, she absolutely cannot afford to let her feelings for Agent Vaughn jeopardize the work that she is doing here. And even afterwards.

Does she really anticipate anything coming out of this relationship? Out of two people who have such a horrible connection? Can't she see that that will always be hanging over their heads? The only reason they are happy now is because they are experiencing a new freedom. A freedom they cannot yet afford to have. I just hope that they are taking their time, not moving things too quickly. Rushing into a relationship that is already in danger can only make things worse in the long run. 

Perhaps it seems that I am heartless, that I don't want my daughter to be with the man she loves. I'm just not convinced that it is him that she is in love with, and not just what being able to be with him represents. I know that Agent Vaughn believes that he truly cares for her, and on one level I know that he does, but does he care for her romantically because she has always been the forbidden fruit? After the fruit is tasted, will he discover that she is merely an apple, and that he prefers oranges? 

And then, of course, there is the concern: what if they do make it? What if she does fall deeply in love with him? What if he does ask her to spend her life with him?

Will he betray her?

Some may think that I am merely displacing my own problems with Irina onto Sydney and any relationship she has. The truth is, Sydney right now is very valuable to the CIA. Not only is she an excellent agent, but she has a lot of information that other people would be very interested in knowing. 

I can't imagine that the son of William Vaughn would ever sell out his own country, and I must grudgingly admit I don't believe that Agent Vaughn would ever hurt my daughter, but is that really a chance I can take? 

I've already broken her heart enough. As much as it pains me to admit it, I have hurt her far more than I have helped her. In the past two years I've tried so hard to make up for all the lost years and for all the pain. But it seemed as if every time I did something right, some mistake from my past would come up and we'd take own step forward and four steps back.

I'm so proud of Sydney, of the woman that she's become. I know that I cannot say that I had any part in that, and for that I feel a sorrow that will not die. I shut her out too early, and too often, and when I finally realized how precious my beautiful daughter was, it was far too late. But look at what she's done without me. And she is even finding it in her heart to forgive me. 

One day she might even tell me that she loves me. One day I hope I'll have enough strength and courage to say I love her, even though I know I don't deserve to be able to tell her.

All I want for Sydney is happiness and safety. I want her to feel love again, love like she had with Danny. To this day I still wish I had been able to save him. To save Sydney from all this heartache. But perhaps, though the cost was far too great, it is better that she knew the truth. 

I am grateful to Vaughn for allowing her to feel happy, and maybe even to love again. I am grateful to him for taking such good care of her, for always putting her first, above everything else. William Vaughn was a great officer, but his son is even better, because where William would not stand up for his beliefs, Vaughn would not let the moment go unchallenged. Time and again he's risked his career and his life for Sydney, and though he doesn't know it, I will always be in his debt for that.

I read somewhere that the name Sydney means 'glorious'. I couldn't think of a more fitting name for this extraordinary woman. I give thanks every day that I am lucky enough to be her father, and that after all we've gone through, she and I still have some sort of relationship, one that we are continually working on. I pray that her life will be as wonderful as she is, and that she will find a love who will realize just how glorious she really is.

And for her sake, I hope that love is Michael Vaughn.

SD-6 may be gone, and I hope that from now on her life will be her own, but Sydney needs to be aware of the obstacles of love. She may not even realize it, but this is dangerous. 

END (1/4)

~*~*~*~*~*~


	2. This is: the Beginning of the End

Title: This is:  
Author: Kerry (NDKerry@optonline.net)  
Rating: PG-13 (Just to be safe)  
Spoilers: Seriously? Everything up through, including, and especially, Double Agent.  
Category: Post-Ep, Romance (S/V), 1st person POV, Series of Vignettes.  
Summary: Different thoughts from different sources during and after Double Agent.  
Archive: That would be lovely, just please let me know where.  
Feedback: Crave it like I want Michael Vartan.  
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Damn.  
Author's Notes: Special thanks to super-beta Lisa! Love and shout-outs to Dani & Flip.  
  
This is: the Beginning of the End (Francie POV)  
  
Placing the cover back on Sydney's television, I glance around the room. From what my briefing manual said, this room is very typical of her style--bright and simple, yet homey. She's still trying to make up for the home she never had as a child. I roll my eyes and smirk. That just makes her weak in my book. She's still trying to compensate for what she never had to begin with.  
  
It is certainly taking some getting used to, and Sydney is much friendlier than I had anticipated. Of course, as I'm supposed to be her best friend, I imagine that she's friendlier with me than the average Jane Doe on the street. And in fact, if she had any idea I wasn't 'her' Francie, I don't doubt she would come at me in full pit-bull attack mode. Let her try.   
  
This is far easier than I thought it would be. Obviously her friend was a very dim-witted person. It seems she lived on the restaurant and gossip. And ugly clothes. The worst part of this is the outfits I have to wear constantly. I've studied the surveillance tapes, so I think I've got her mannerisms and voice inflections down perfectly. At least, close enough to perfect that the Almighty Sydney Bristow hasn't noticed yet.  
  
She did give me a funny look earlier, though, when she introduced me to 'Michael from the bank.' Of course, I did see them kissing, so maybe she was just embarrassed about that. She seems very into this Michael. I will need to do more research on him. He must be from the CIA. Very interesting. Of course, that will make using him a little more difficult, as I'm sure he's been trained to defend himself.  
  
He did seem rather protective of her, though, the way he was looking at her, and speaking with her. It's obvious that he cares very much for her. That, of course, is his weakness, and I'm sure that it is hers, as well. It certainly hasn't taken me long to find Sydney's Achilles Heel.  
  
I've nearly finished planting all the bugs in the house. Amazing how with a few strategically placed cameras nearly every corner of the house can be visible on my computer. I will be able to find every weakness that Sydney Bristow has. And I will be able to use them all against her. I will break her, until she is begging for mercy. And how sweet will it be that the person who has betrayed her so deeply is her own best friend?   
  
I will admit, this whole body-doubling thing is a little weird. I mean, for all intents and purposes, I really am Francie. I look exactly like her, I sound like her, I try to act like her, but even my DNA--that's hers, too. It's as if *I* never existed, all that's left is Francie. And all I have to say is I'm glad it's not permanent. I want to wear my old clothes again eventually.  
  
Of course, however long I'm in Francie's body, or whatever, depends on how long it takes Mr. Sark and Mr. Sloane to attain their goals. Not that I know what these goals are, of course. Talk about being paranoid with knowledge. I know what's occurred up until now, but as for the current mission, I only know two things: my particular part in this job, and that I'm being paid very nicely to do my job well. All I can say is, when I'm done with this, it's off to the South Pacific for a lifetime of Rest and Relaxation. Sydney's demise is just an added bonus.  
  
The best part about destroying Sydney now, and having her best friend betray her now, is that now is when she is finally happy. She's with that Michael from the bank, and she thinks that life is just oh so grand now that she's taken down SD-6. If she had any idea that this was all part of Arvin Sloane's greater plan, perhaps she wouldn't be so thrilled with her accomplishments. On the other hand, since she is now relaxed and happy, this makes my job a little easier.  
  
I finish up with another camera in the kitchen, and one in the living room. Heading back to Francie's room... my room, now, of course, I flip on my laptop and double check to make sure that each of them work. Perfect. Grabbing my headset, I check the levels on the audio bugs. Sydney's not going to get a glass of water in this place without me knowing about it.  
  
But of course, there's still more work to be done. I grab a few extra bugs, and head out to Sydney's car. Wouldn't want her travel time to go unrecorded.  
  
Sydney thinks that her time for happiness has finally come. Little does she know the worst is still in front of her.  
  
For Sydney Bristow, this is the beginning of the end.  
  
END (2/4)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~


	3. This is: Real

Title: This is:  
Author: Kerry (NDKerry@optonline.net)  
Rating: PG-13 (Just to be safe)  
Spoilers: Seriously? Everything up through, including, and especially, Double Agent.  
Category: Post-Ep, Romance (S/V), 1st person POV, Series of Vignettes.  
Summary: Different thoughts from different sources during and after Double Agent.  
Archive: That would be lovely, just please let me know where.  
Feedback: Crave it like I want Michael Vartan.  
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Damn.  
Author's Notes: Special thanks to super-beta Lisa! Love and shout-outs to Dani & Flip.  
  
  
This is: Real (Vaughn POV)  
  
I know that in most situations the man falls asleep first, normally right after the love-making. But I can only imagine how draining these past few days have been on Sydney, because right now, she's up against me, fast asleep. Her head is on my chest, her legs are entwined with mine, and never have I felt as much a desire to protect her as I do right now. I try and scoot in a little more underneath her, to move her closer to me. My one hand is softly stroking her hair, and I bring my other arm up and rest it on her hip.  
  
She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, but until now, even I couldn't see the depth of her beauty. Since she took down SD-6, she just seemed to glow more and more. The morning after, when I found her in the destroyed headquarters, I'd never seen her smile quite that bright. It was like her face lit up. The sun seemed to dim in comparison to her.   
  
When I came to pick her up to go on the trip, there was a serenity in her features. She just seemed more relaxed than I had ever seen her, and the peace with which she told me, "This is where I live," I never wanted her more. She came up and held my hand. I wonder if she was thinking the same thing I was as I was looking around her place. I was wondering if we would ever have a place of our own, a home full of peace, and simple lighting, and things that make Sydney happy. I wondered if she would let me be that much a part of her life. If she would be willing to spend her life with me.  
  
Oh, I know it's far too early to start talking of things like forever and eternity in our relationship. I just know that I've spent the past two years trying to keep this woman safe, to help her get through the hell she was living in, and to help her bring down SD-6 so that she could live the life she wanted. Somewhere along the way (I'll admit, somewhere pretty early on), I found myself wondering if she would ever want me to be part of that life. And then she asked me out. I knew we couldn't do it, but I also knew I screwed that play. The observatory would have been so much more romantic at night, but we didn't have the luxury of selecting romantic places for our secret rendez-vous. So even in the foggy haze of that LA day, I wanted her to know exactly how much she had infiltrated my life, and my dreams. That was right around the time I had enough sense to break up with Alice. I never wanted to lead her on, and it almost caught me by surprise when I realized how much I wanted Alice to be Sydney. I don't even want to think about why I got back together with Alice. There were really only two reasons: I realized there was a good chance we'd never be able to be together, and Noah.   
  
I pull her a little closer still as I think about the man who caused both of us so much pain. God, I hated hearing about him. I could tell, in her eyes, that there was far more to their relationship than she was telling me. It was the first thing since we had met that she wasn't sharing with me, and that hurt enough, but to know that there was another man who was at the heart of it...that hurt me far more than I had imagined it would. I always knew she wasn't mine, yet in my heart she has been for quite some time. And then when he turned out to be the Snowman... I felt a certain sense of vindication...that it was alright, because I'm certainly better than a professional murderer. Of course, he was still hurting me, because Sydney was hurt. And he caused her to lose sight of her goals, even if just for a moment. Didn't he have any idea that she lived to take down SD-6 and the ability to have a normal life? Well, obviously, he didn't. The only thing about Noah that causes me to be grateful is the idea that I was able to comfort her, to bring her a little bit of solace from her pain. Those are the days when everything else in my life fades away--when I know that for one brief instant, I've alleviated some of the misery in Sydney's life.  
  
And now that I've had the opportunity to be with her, to share in her joy, to be able to love her, I can't imagine ever having to live without it. I want to be able to wake up each day next to her, to see her smiling, glorious face, and to be able to be a reason that she is smiling. I want to be the constant love in her life. I want to be the person that she wants to be with, night and day.  
  
I'm awed that I have this chance now, to just look at her, to just be here with her, and hold her. To kiss her, if I wanted to. And though I do want to, I don't want to take the chance to wake her up. Because she's even more beautiful when she's asleep and resting peacefully. I feel her breath steady on my chest, as a lock of hair falls across her face. That won't do at all, so I move it back, gently, providing me again with an unobstructed view of that tiny smile that she's got, this look of utter peace and contentment.  
  
I just want to pinch myself to make sure it's not a dream--Sydney Bristow really is asleep in my arms, and that I am part of the reason she is finally at peace.  
  
But it's not a dream. This is real.  
  
END (3/4)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~


End file.
